Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Best of....

Sunday, July 01, 2007


Wal-Mart, again


So me and the wife went to Wal-Mart last night. We needed some stuff, you know. I have not been to Wal-Mart in about two weeks, give or take. Last night gave me more Wal-Mart than I will need for the next two months. It's like every sterotype and freak this wonderful town has to offer came out to Wal-Mart at a 9:00pm on a Saturday night.
The highlights:

-Female hobo, carnie freak and their three legged dog. From what I saw I think the dog was cleaner than the two humans. Skinny meth head and his, no shit, hobo look-alike women, she looked like she steped out of a book on vagrants. It was scary, smelly and disturbing all at the same time. I felt sorry for the three legged dog, however.

-Annoying stereotyped Asians. You know, Asian stereotypes have been a staple of college movies for years. This group walked right out of one. They acted like they did not know where they were, cut me off, smelled bad, you name it. I think the guy from Revenge of the Nerds could have taught them a lesson even.

-The total lack of fucking Ice Cream. I may be overweight, and yes, I like ice cream. But last night Wal-Mart had none. No shit, there was barely any ice cream in the freezer. We could not find any that sounded even remotely good. How the hell can a Super Wal-Mart run out of fucking ice cream?

-Mr. Hold the spot of my women so she can cut in front of the Captain and his wife with an overflowing cart. Fuck this bitch. Here asshole man "holds" the space. How fucking rude can people get? She had a cart full of shit, absolutely full of shit, 10x what we had. How indicitive of the rude, uncivil assholes people have become.

-If you have ever watched the show Trailer Park Boys the rest of the Wal-Mart gang looked staight out of that show. Skinny, frog voiced women who were most likely 20 years younger than they looked. Skinny, acne faced teens who were dressed as gangstas. Men with huge beer guts. Wal-Mart seemingly threw all it could at us last night. It did a good job.

Wal-Mart sucks.

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